Christmas was always a confusing concept to me as a kid. I could never really get what any of it meant, especially the Santa Claus part. I think Santa should be completely wiped out of the Christmas season, I never liked him, in fact the idea scared me. The fact that he had to sneak into my house in the first place took me a little a back, if he was such a great guy then why wouldn’t my parents just open the door for him? Why would he, much like a robber, have to go to such extremes as to slide down my chimney, wasn’t that breaking and entering which is illegal? Why didn’t the alarm go off? If a big fat man could slide down my chimney unnoticed whose to say the boogeyman wouldn’t try it either?

If that didn’t scare me enough as a kid the thought that he was spying on me all year long to check if I were naughty or nice made did. I couldn’t help but also feel a little dirty thinking that an old man had nothing better to do than spy on a little girl. I wondered if he also watched me when I got dressed or took a bath, I became frightenley paranoid to the point that going to the washroom soon became uncomfortable as I didn’t know if Santa had the good grace of turning his back when this happened or if this was the reason he gave me toys? As payment for putting on a show for his sick little mind?

It was hard for me not to think that Santa didn’t have something wrong with him, what other old man got their jollies’s off by having hundreds on kids sit on his lap all day? It’s not that I didn’t want the presents, it’s just that why couldn’t I just read him my list standing beside him, why did I HAVE to sit on his lap? And why is it that the only adults he associates with are childlike elves? Makes you wonder....